Let me make this absolutely clear: I DO NOT COLLECT NOVELTY BOTTLE STOPPERS
I admit I once bought a novelty bottle stopper with a duck on it from a local kitchen shop, but this was simply to stop a bottle of wine from going off, and for NO OTHER REASON.
However, people who come into my kitchen clap eyes on the novelty bottle stopper with a duck, and are now convinced that I collect novelty bottle stoppers. This means that come every birthday and Christmas I am deluged with the things. come every birthday and Christmas.
People return from holidays with novelty bottle stoppers from Spanish resorts with all kinds of animals birds and cartoon characters. I even have one with my name spelled wrong on it. I now have many novelty bottle stoppers despite the fact that I do not collect novelty bottle stoppers.
So, to summarise: I DO NOT COLLECT NOVELTY BOTTLE STOPPERS. If I receive any novelty bottle stoppers to the usual address, they will be returned yo you in a package marked "Hamster butt plugs: For export only".
There.
8 comments:
Do you still collect novelty butt plugs?
"but this was simply to stop a bottle of wine from going off,"
Erm...drink it all?
Now can we just get this cleared up once and for all about your novelty bottle stopper collection ...
p.s. Careful, single gentlemen of a certain age are notorious for "falling" on their novelty bottle stoppers ( and apparently superman action figures too ).
I thought this was how everyone started their "collections".
I once bought a cheap coin purse from a charity shop because I needed a coin purse & it was cheap. It happened to have "shiny happy" smilies on it I bought this particular one because it was the least hideous one there. Ever since then I have been "collecting" Shiny Happy things. Mugs, fridge magnets, tobacco tins, pens, you name it, I have it in "Shiny Happy" even a cushion! I gave in. :)
But you're still collecting novelty Australian care parcels, right?
Every man needs a hobby......
switch to cans of special brew, the problem will solve itself :)
This can't have effect in actual fact, that is exactly what I consider.
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