A bit of gardening advice that doesn't involve blowjobs
So, here's a bit of gardening advice.
If you're one of these posh types with an ornamental fountain in your garden, do be careful with how you maintain it.
For example, your fountain may be in the shape of a frog, with the water entering through a tube at the front of the base, and coming out again through a spout in the frog's mouth.
If your frog fountain becomes blocked, do not - I repeat: DO NOT - take your ornamental frog, and blow through the groin-level entry tube to clear out the blob of muck that's stopping the flow.
Because this will be the EXACT moment your neighbour sticks his head over the fence and bid you a good morning.
The exact moment you are giving a blowjob to a frog.
The words "This is not how it looks" cut little ice.