So, here's a bit of gardening advice.
If you're one of these posh types with an ornamental fountain in your garden, do be careful with how you maintain it.
For example, your fountain may be in the shape of a frog, with the water entering through a tube at the front of the base, and coming out again through a spout in the frog's mouth.
If your frog fountain becomes blocked, do not - I repeat: DO NOT - take your ornamental frog, and blow through the groin-level entry tube to clear out the blob of muck that's stopping the flow.
Because this will be the EXACT moment your neighbour sticks his head over the fence and bid you a good morning.
The exact moment you are giving a blowjob to a frog.
The words "This is not how it looks" cut little ice.
9 comments:
I always thought that "Percy Thrower" sounded like an act of indecency, but could never work out exactly what.
Off now for a quick Titchmarsh.
And if they have their mobile on them, you could wind up on Youtube with 3 million hits by the next morning.
Not going down the frog and monkey you tube video route here. Not even going to mention it.
However, do we take it that you would never, ever kermit such an act*?
*i.e. it was you, wasn't it.
So.......how was it for you?
Could be a lot worse. You could have been caught giving a french person a blowie!
Your neighbours know you so well.
I seem to have Paul McCartney's Frog Chorus "We All Stand Together" running through my mind today.
Spawnography!
This will not succeed in reality, that is what I think.
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