Tuesday, September 20, 2011



"It's as if we were meant to be together," she said, all doe-eyed across the table, "It's kismet."

"The frog," I reply.

She is perplexed. "You what?"

"Kismet. The frog. Kermit's brother. He stayed in the swamp while his famous sibling found fame and fortune in the big city. Married, had loads of little tadpoles, made something of himself in swamp society, but all the time resented Kermit and his high-fallutin' ways, and it all came out in one bitter, drunken outburst at that family get-together of which they never ever speak. 'A pig!' he shouted, 'You married A BLOODY WHORE PIG!' and everybody looked away, embarrassed that he'd gone and shown them all up in front of their famous cousin by doing that 'What's green and smells of bacon?' joke..."


"And if you'd like to move to the next table."

Speed dating. It's ACE.

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