"It's as if we were meant to be together," she said, all doe-eyed across the table, "It's kismet.""The frog," I reply.
She is perplexed. "You what?"
"Kismet. The frog. Kermit's brother. He stayed in the swamp while his famous sibling found fame and fortune in the big city. Married, had loads of little tadpoles, made something of himself in swamp society, but all the time resented Kermit and his high-fallutin' ways, and it all came out in one bitter, drunken outburst at that family get-together of which they never ever speak. 'A pig!' he shouted, 'You married A BLOODY WHORE PIG!' and everybody looked away, embarrassed that he'd gone and shown them all up in front of their famous cousin by doing that 'What's green and smells of bacon?' joke..."
DING!
"And if you'd like to move to the next table."
Speed dating. It's ACE.
9 comments:
Speed dating?
I have neither the time nor the self indulgence for a drug addiction.
* May not actually have hapened
I LOLed.
p.s. Thurd
Kismet never got the Rainbow Connection, did he?
Take out some of that punctuation and you've got yourself the beginnings of a fine Faulkner-esque novel.
Have you seen the Spade Dating DVD?
Clearly, I have not been paying attention.
Also: as a rule of thumb, avoid all potential datees that use the term "Kismet" (at least, those not using it to describe a muppet frog).*
*this advice based on absolutely no experience whatsoever
I just returned from Disney World, and, rest assured, I yelled "He married a bloody whore pig!" at the Muppet Show. Okay, I fake yelled and only my family heard me. And then I had to ignore the kids when they asked me what a whore is.
This will not succeed in reality, that is what I think.
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