There is nothing more disconcerting when you are trying to squeeze one out on the office toilets than to listen to the person in the next cubicle down having a telephone conversation whilst you are trying to go about your business.
In fact, it goes against all rules of toilet etiquette and should be stamped out forthwith.
Disgusted to the point that I was angry to the point that I NEARLY said something, I instead opted for a few nearly passive aggressive spoiler tactics
- Flush three timesThen, watch toilet door from discrete distance, to found out who this BLASPHEMER might be, and pity the fool
- Parp as loudly as possible
- Aim for a bigger splash
- ...followed by a relieved "Jeeeeesus!"
- Knock on the partition wall and ask if they have any paper I can borrow
- Sing a song. "All the single ladies" gets you there
- Flush twice
- Say "Get off the phone, darling and come back to bed"
- Flee
Let this be a lesson to you all.
9 comments:
FURST!!!
But did the phone culprit (manky bastard) ever find out it was you?
Why the Beyonce label? Were you cracking one off in the gents?
Why stop at pitying the fool?
Whistle "It's Raining Men".
And never, EVER ask to borrow their mobile. Eeeeew!
I knew I recognised that picture! *tries to think of poo based 'less than zero' joke*
*fails*
Never realised the original painting is called 'bigger splash' Excellent!
The watching of toilet doors should be performed from a 'discreet' distance. A discrete distance is uncomfortable, especially for pedants.
Gosh, there's a great deal of helpful data in this post!
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