Wednesday, December 14, 2011

TOP TIPS FOR MEN, and MORE TOP TIPS FOR OTHER MEN

MEN! Always leave the toilet seat up when you finish your business, just in case the next person to use the toilet is another man.

Also, this gives vital relief to otherwise thirsty pets and/or small children; and gives equally vital seat-lowering exercise to any subsequent female toilet users.

This advice is particularly useful if you are taking advantage of the superior 'Enough room to swing several cats' facilities offered by the disabled cubicle.




TOP TIPS FOR LORRY DRIVERS

LORRY DRIVERS! Make yourself pots of extra cash by following these simple instructions:

1. Set up a £2.00 per minute premium rate phone number terminating in the Cayman Islands.

2. Stick the number on the back of your truck with the words "How's my driving?"

3. Drive like a nobber

Profit!

2 comments:

TRT said...

And logically following on from this:

Men.
1. Set up a £2 per minute premium rate phone number terminating in the Cayman Islands.
2. Attach a sticker to the underside of the toilet seat bearing the words "How's my pissing?"
3. Gaze wistfully off into the distance thinking of how much money you'll be making very soon whilst completely disregarding your aim (is it called "taking the eye off the ball"?)

Profit!

scaryscar said...

This is true - My gf leaves the seat up for me after she is done, not for my convenience (npi) but because she doesn't trust me not to piss on it...funny old world.