Greetings, puny humans. Your favourite penguin revolutionary returns from an enforced exile waddling round a circus ring in a bowtie. I have never been so humiliated in my life. But now, I return with news of the Glorious Penguin Revolution. The duck may think he's so clever selling his tat on the internet, but you can now support the struggle for penguin liberation by purchasing some of my finest quality merchandise HERE.
I can assure you that your contributions will only be used to support the glorious cause of penguin freedom, and not slashed up the wall on fish. At all. Honest.