Earlier this year, after finding a discarded copy of The Stage on a train, I mentioned the murky world of tribute acts. I wondered at the time how much lower could the world of entertainment go. And now, after literally seconds of shocked research, I have realised there are new, deeper, darker circles of Hell. The professional lookalike.
I’ve seen unconvincing Del-Boys before, but now I bring you the unpleasantness of a man who hopes to gain employment by posing as Tony Blair. In his dreams. I can tell you for a fact that he previously worked as a Fred West double until the old sod strung himself up by his bootlaces in Bristol Nick. Others who have seen this image have commented that he is actually doing both Tony and Cherie Blair, and I can see their point. Utterly frightening.
I mean, who in their right mind would book a Pat Butcher and Curly Watts double act for their party or function - unless it is one of those events that features ritual slaughter to Cthulhu and his dark minions? Worse still, and I’ve been to one of these things and still bear the mental scars, who thinks that no corporate shindig would be complete without someone who looks like Sven Goran Eriksson. On a dark night. In a snow storm. Through stained glass.
The clincher for me is this man, and I think we’re sailing on dangerous ground here. A Matthew Kelly lookalike. A deadringer for someone who does a lookalike TV show. If the pair ever meet (an event which must be avoided at all costs), the matter/anti-matter explosion could be the end of all of us. Or, as I suspect, no-one will notice.
“Tonight Matthew, I’m going to be a smug bastard.”
It's that time of the week again. Choose this week's Scary story from Golf (includes arses), Eighteen-ish (contains pr0nography) and Paper Round (contains nudity), or any number between one and thirty-two corresponding at an as-yet unwritten tale of mirth and woe. Speak your brains. Choose-o!
And seeing as Wild's challenge to make me include the words "evil pickle" in Lab of Doom was so successful last time out, I will rise to any reasonable bait.
Oh, and something special is coming for Hallowe'en.