I have in my possession a copy of the brand spanking new and totally updated Roger’s Profanisaurus – the ultimate dictionary of swearing, profanity and coarse language – just released into the shops at the price of £9.99. You, however, yes you, can win a copy for absolutely nothing, zip, zilch, nada courtesy of your Uncle Scary.
The premise of the competition is simple. Make Mrs Duck Laugh. That is all you have to do. She’s not been at her best recently what with one thing and another (mostly as a result of having an idiot for a husband), so it’s your job to cheer her up a bit.
We’re looking for jokes, gags, funny stories, pictures, whatever, but they must be your original work. Mrs Duck herself will be the judge, and her decision will be final. Due to the adult nature of the prize, entrants must be over eighteen years of age. Send your entries to email@example.com by November 15th 2003 and the long-eared buffoon will pass your entries over to Mrs Duck just as soon as he’s out of police custody.
Extra credit, of course, will be awarded for tales in the same vein as Scary’s Scary stories.