To mark the tenth anniversary of Bill Hicks' death, today I shall be mostly trying to kidnap a Gideon.
"Hello, room service"
"There doesn't seem to be a bible in my room"
"We'll send one right up"
Then you wait....
The man was a genius. Mental, but a genius.
I don't normally do memes, as they are officially the lazy bastard's way of filling a blog (and heaven knows I've seen enough weblogs filled with nothing but meme fodder), but here are the Luxembourg jury's results of the "Set you media player to random and list the first ten tunes that come out" thingy.
1. Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark - Walking On The Milky Way
2. Radiohead - Fake Plastic Trees
3. David Bowie - Ashes To Ashes
4. Belle & Sebastian - The Boy With The Arab Strap
5. The Smiths - How Soon Is Now?
6. Green Day - Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)
7. St Etienne - This Is Radio Etienne
8. Joy Division - Atmosphere
9. Cocteau Twins - Aikea-Guinea
10. The Delgados - The Past That Suits You Best
Not wanting to sound a smug bastard, but that's not a bad list, is it? Yay for random tune throwy-up gubbins!
Listen to a Radio Five newsreader shouting soup live on air.
The complete History Today: "See that Geoff Gapes?" "Yes, I am aware of the athlete." "That's your mum, that is."
The "I can't believe it's a real web page" Department brings you "I can't believe it's a real web page"
New US Arabic-language propaganda channel translates as "The piece of shit".
Duck: Rear view. Photo scanned (badly) from the Reading Chronicle, showing your humble narrator doing real, live, actual work.
From the Gospel according to Saint Ken, the heavily censored. "I knew that Jesus before he was famous, you know. Had to choose between the drumming and my apprenticeship at Joseph's Pine Emporium. JC teamed up with that Judas fella, an' the rest is history. I'm not bitter, mind. Coffee table sir?"
And lo, Matthew came unto Jesus and said unto him, "Come on Messiah, show us yer norks."
And Jesus smote him verily, in accordance with the prophecy, and went home to watch MiddleEastEnders on the goggle box.
The Friday Vote-o
No vote-o this week, as we've already decided to do Blarney this time round. Your suggestions of words and phrases on an Emerald Isle theme will be either hugely appreciated, or sneered at and filed in the bin. Suggest-o!