Cold legs? Receiving strange looks from friends, collegues? Then you have probably lost your trousers. Using my Uri Gellar skills of deduction, these would be a rather fetching light brown pair, in a smart yet casual style and an impressive crease.
Fear not, for you have merely left them outside the Prince of Wales pub in Reading. I have left them draped over a road sign so passing cars won't bugger up that razor sharp crease; petty thieves and your modesty notwithstanding, you can pick them up any time today.
God help us all if you've gone commando.
That is all.
Public Service Announcement Two
My former partner in crime Balders has finally opened his web site. Visit-o!