Wednesday, February 04, 2004

Instant Sunshine

Apparantly, the average American kid sees 10,000 murders on TV before he is sixteen.

Hardly surprising since American news and entertainment channels gleefully show car chases, "real crime", military footage through night-vision goggles of Iraqis getting blown away by high-calibre machine guns, and precision strikes on military targets which are undoubtedly manned.

They don't, however, show the full-colour aftermath. It's no cop drama where you can take a bullet and still punch hell out of the bad guy with a lump of lead in your arm. Too messy, upsets people, puts off advertisers.

The first and second amendments allow an endless stream of uncensored pronography, hate-speech radio and guns, guns, guns.

But show them the briefest flash of a celebrity nork during the Superbowl half-time, and they're having a collective heart attack.

War and botched occupation in the Middle East, but who's the target of righteous indignation back home?

Bono said "fuck" on the Golden Globes.

Now there's a nation with problems.

In a country where religious fundamentalism meant throwing Christians to the lions - a habit they've since grown out of and replaced with Jeux sans Frontieres - daytime programming on Italian TV features a man drawing on some model's bare arse with a marker pen in a lecture on womens' arses featuring, unsurprisingly, dozens of womens' arses.

The studio chef prepares what can only be described as an Esther Rantzen salad out of rude vegetables, the wang made out of a mushroom and a spring onion is a triumph of inventiveness in the culinary arts. Meanwhile, the St Winifrids School Choir perform a song entitled "Wang wang-a wang la la la la" in the background. You never got that on Kilroy.

Pointless milestone

The hit counter should reach 250,000 today. Will it be you? Keep pressing f5 to find out!


I'll be placing and order for Scaryduck Brand T-Shirts this Friday. If you want one, please let me know soonest. Top quality, none of your schmutter.

The Scaryduck Archive

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