Arse news

Arse news

I was delighted to hear the draw for this season’s Uefa Champions League, in which Arsenal FC will play the Swiss representatives FC Thun.

Poor, poor FC Thun play at the Lachenstadion in their home town, an athletics arena with a seated capacity of (I kid you not) 774. In order to take part in Big Cup, then, Thun have been forced to find a new home away from the village green.

And behold! The newly-erected Wankdorf Arena, home of the equally superbly named Young Boys, who, you may recall, had a few problems with the erection of their new stadium.

The potential for juvenile humour here is enormous. I just hope we don’t have to come from behind.

Irrational Fears Three

As a parent, I am now in a position to instil irrational fears into my own progeny. This is most excellent fun, and, thanks to patient training on my behalf, number one daughter is petrified of clowns.

In fact, she once fled screaming from Ronald McDonald, so that particular burger joint is thankfully completely off the menu.

Scaryduck Jr is in on the act as well:

Scaryduckling: "What's in that van?"

Scaryduck Jr: "Clowns."

Scaryduckling: "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Scaryduck Jr: "And they're going to eat your head."

Scaryduckling: "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

She is eleven.


Apologies for the late arrival of today's post. The piss-poor excuse is that I am absolutely and utterly shagged out and unable to peel my poor, broken body from my bed. Still, what a way to reach double figures.