My neighbours have gone on holiday. They packed up their car, said their goodbyes and headed off to France for two weeks. Unfortunately, they have left their teenage son behind to make sure the place doesn’t burn down in their absence. He has incredibly long hair, incredibly long-haired friends, an electric guitar and a love of painfully loud electric guitar music played by bands featuring, in the main, musicians with incredibly long hair*.
Their neighbours, too, have gone on holiday. They packed up their car, hitched up a caravan and headed off on a two-week tour of very slow, narrow roads**. They too have left their teenage children (plural) and a heavily tattooed boyfriend behind to make sure the place doesn’t burn down in their absence.
What, dear readers, could possibly go wrong?
* I have learned this morning this his grandparents are making random inspection visits, thus guaranteeing good behaviour. How we laughed.
** And a Christian music festival. I bet they've got hand-clapping related RSI already.