"Dad?" says Scaryduck Junior, in that tone of voice that I know will result in the enforced opening of my wallet, "Can I buy a BB gun?"He - of course - means 'buy a BB gun with your money'.
"Why, in the name of Beelzebub's withered left testicle do you want one of those things? You know how I feel about firearms."
He has already prepared his strategy.
"I need it for sporting purposes."
"Sporting purposes. And what sporting purposes are these?"
"I want to go out and hunt down Gary Lineker like a dog."
"Here's 20 quid."
13 comments:
First, bitches! Insomnia - it's not just for tallying you ceiling tiles.
Also, you'll shoot your eye out with that thing, Ralphie!
Kindler, eh? Does he need cash for ammo?
"Kindler"? Bastard autocorrect. I meant "Lineker", of course.
attaboy
Scaryduck Junior is a dog? There is some weird inter-species breeding happening here.
Ah. I thought you meant a Big Brother gun.
I see he twisted your rubber arm. Again.
Gary Lineker once came to my gym and walked right past me. Luckily I wasnt eating any crisps at the time.
Can he do Lionel Richie while he's at it? Blimey, that bloke's scary in close-up.
Lionel Richie - the new Tom Jones.
Lionel Richie & Simon Cowell.
If he promises to do Jamie Oliver at the same time I'll sub him for a Milan.
It cannot have effect as a matter of fact, that's exactly what I suppose.
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