On winning a phone
This Christmas I've been given an incentive. And it is this:
If I want to upgrade my rubbish mobile phone to something with web access, touch screen and built-in cattle prod, I've got to lose some weight.
The slogan I have been given is: "Lose a stone, win a phone."
After a month of so, it's all turning out to be rather too much like hard work, so I'm going to aim for the runner's up prize instead.
"Lose a gram, win a ham."