On breeding your own office furniture
Here at Scaryduck Labs (Motto: This time next year, Rodders...), we're always thinking of ways to make your life easier, and the lives of your enemies more painful and somewhat shorter.
That's why we've spliced DNA from large, hairy spiders into the humble office chair.
With the Scaryduck Labs Arachnochair™, you need never leave your seat for the length of your entire working day, your comfortable eight-legged Arachnochair™ walking you from desk to meeting room to canteen to cigarette shelter and back again as you see fit.
It also eats flies, ideal if you work at the cutting edge of the international rancid meat market that is taking UK retail by storm.
Trouble with unruly staff? Simply replace their Arachnochair™ with our advanced "Black Widow" Arachnochair™, and watch with sick fascination as the office bully is wrapped in an unbreakable web and slowly eaten alive by the office furniture. Ideal if you work at the cutting edge of the international rancid meat market.
Also available: Scaryduck Labs Venus Filing Cabinet™ and Scaryduck Labs Crocodesk™.
Ask for our brochure!