She emerged from the sea onto the Spanish beach like Ursula Andress in Dr No.Tiny, white, postage stamp bikini that leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination.
Every curve, every inch of flesh, every gleam in her eye.
Hair slicked back on her head, cascading over her right shoulder.
She stood, surveying the beach around her, the man of uncertain age eyeing her from not far away, for when she bathes in the Mediterranean, every man's head is turned.
Twenty stone if she were a pound, world sea levels drop two inches.
She waves at her six-stone-weakling of a husband, revealing the Black Forest nestling in her armpit.
The man at the café table swallows back a little sick.
Followed by quite a lot of sick, which he fails to swallow back.
Do No? "Dr AAARGH NO NO NO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NOOOO!", more like.
9 comments:
First and Thanks for the image.................
I will never be able to watch that movie in the same way... ever.
Urgh. And with summer around the corner and all.
Weight obsession week, is it?
Just imagine the effect YOU have on bathers when you emerge from the sea in your skimpy speedos. Double that when you dig a little hole in the sand as there's no loos on the beach.
Speedos with socks and sandals.
And so Tuesday begins...
Well, that is a bit of a reprieve for the Maldives then. If we could only get the balding, obese men out of the ocean at the Florida resorts, we chould probably stave off beach erosion until someone fixes "global warming".
Damn Gok Wan and his 'how to look good naked' disciples.
Where the Eye Bleach?
Look on the bright side - it could have been a nudist beach.
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