I'm gathering nominations for The Worst Person In The World Awards 2010. Top prize: A kick up the cludger. As featured on Sky News.Confirmed nominees so far:
Naomi Campbell: For her sterling appearance at the Charles Taylor war crimes trial, where being forced by subpoena to give evidence regarding the violent deaths of 250,000 people was "a bit of an inconvenience, really"
John Terry: Representing all footballers, his inability to keep his johnson inside his tracksuit costing England any slim chance the team had at the World Cup
Nick Clegg
Nick Griffin: Wonky-face racist whose widely-predicted (by himself) 2010 political breakthrough turned into a spectacular trouncing at the polls. Get back to your farm, Griffin
Orly Taitz: Representing the Tea Party movement, a collection of loudmouths, nutters and people who'd dearly like to lick Sarah Palin's tuppence, for her doomed, hilarious attempts to have President Obama hurled out of office through a series of bewildering court cases. Orly contents that the President is really one Barry Soetoro, born in Kenya. Or Indonesia. And is part of a Communist plot to bring down America. I *ahem* quite like Orly.
Danny Dyer: Professional cockney and git, whose advice page in a lads mag told a reader to slash his former girlfriend's face with a knife so other blokes wouldn't go out with her. A charmer
Please suggest more, then we can all go out, have a nice vote, a bit of a punch-up and then declare my preferred choice as winner. That's democracy, folks.
Degree of difficulty: Nominees must have done something awful within the last 12 months.
24 comments:
Sam Newman
Serial offender,
http://www.onlymelbourne.com.au/melbourne_details.php?id=2269
with his most recent one likening a gentleman from Malaysia to a monkey. Ironically he presented a show with one Rex Hunt. Ironic because Sam is a complete Rex Hunt. That's the sort of language you Cockneys understand, isn't it?
Twitter has pointed me toward Rupert Murdoch. I shall make it so.
Chris Moyles
Abu Hamza
Robert Mugabe
Thatcher.
What has she done in the last 12 months that is awful?
Continued to breathe, the bitch.
Morrissey. Never liked the whiny veggie emotastic tosser anyway.
I used to *love* seeing animals at the circus. They're all bland acrobats'n'unfunny clowns shite now. Even the Chinese ones.
I've no time for these Confederate know-nothings, but would happily whisk the frisky witch Palin on a ride to Hell and back on my meaty broomstick.
I therefore nominate myself, on grounds of adultery of the mind, lack of taste and political principle, and a surfeit of candour.
And for extra comments you could always add the owl-loving Julian.
Tony Blair
George Osborne. The buttered-crumpet-faced-class-sneak-turned-prefect who went around slashing everything, saying it gave him no joy, but secretly pleasuring himself through a hole in the lining of the pocket of his trousers, which originally belonged to his grandfather.
Clifford Olson, child serial killer for threatening to sue the federal government unless it backs away from plans to revoke Old Age Security and Guaranteed Income Supplement payments for convicts.
I believe one of his arguments was that he paid into it through taxes or whatever. But since he's been locked up since 1981, I'm not sure how this is possible.
Back story: he was paid $10k per body he led the RCMP to, for a total of $100K. He's a sick jerk who profited from murdering 11 children.
Cat bin woman.
Surely under Danny you mean so that other blokes would NOT go out with her?
Ashley Cole, John Terry & Wayne Rooney for being wannabe Tiger Woods-es.
I would like to nominate the tosser whose morals are so far removed from those of the rest of humanity's who thought it would be just fine and dandy to leave a pipe bomb in a primary school on the first day of term thinking that this was going to make all the catholics leave Northern Ireland.
Richard. Maybe he's just a disgruntled parent who didn't quite understand the concept of contraception or abortion.
Tz
Graham Bandage - I love it!
I would also add on the mystery girl who chucked puppies into a river - dead or alive, she is still a sicko
I also think Tony Blair deserves a place on here (for the 13th year in a row) for just being so mean about Gordon Brown in his book, not exactly taking the moral high ground is it and the poor bloke lost a general election a few months ago- cut him some slack! Blair just escaped before we could sack him!
Alsooo Steve Jobs - for inviting a brilliant phone that only works sometimes - money grabbing genius, non?
article submission uk
For being prime examples of journalistic c**ts (or in the media business)
Rebekah Wade
Rupert Murdoch
Richard Littlejohn
Jan Moir
Richard thingy of The Express and Channel 5 ownership fame
For trying to fuck with Ben Goldacre
Gillian McKeith
Sahara Desert
Note: I wasn't nominating myself. I can't get my bastard ID to work through NetNewsWire so rather than remain an anonymous oik... you get the idea.
Sahara Desert (not nominating myself)
You forgot to mention the rest of the England team re their performance in the World Cup
Cat bin woman.
Tony Blair - just when you think he can't get any worse, he does.
Seconding (thirding?) Tony Blair, in this case for leaving injured soldiers to rely on charities for medical and theraputic help, only to 'generously' donate the royalties of his self-serving book to them once out of power.
And for thinking we are all incapable of remembering the policies of his administration and linking the two facts.
Apologies for any percieved ARE TROOPS overtones.
George Galloway. Just for existing.
To my mind everyone may read it.
Post a Comment