Saturday, September 11, 2010

An Open Letter to the Mad Christian Fundamentalists who want to burn the Koran

An Open Letter to the Mad Christian Fundamentalists who want to burn the Koran

Dear Mad Christian Fundamentalists who want to burn the Koran,

Congratulations on being the world's top weapons-grade mentals! Here's the legendary Double Facepalm for your trouble.

But let me tell you something: I once saw this zombie movie where they set fire to all the zombies with a bloody huge zombie-slaying bomb. The zombies turned into vapour and smoke, came back to Earth as zombie rain, everybody breathed in the zombies, turned into actual zombies and ate the spicy brains of everything else that wasn't zombies.

THE END.

And now you're planning to set fire to The Word Of God, we're all going to wake up on Sunday morning as Muslims*, and there's nothing the Daily Mail can do to stop it. And that's a 100 per cent true fact as proven by MATHS and SCIENCE and HOLLYWOOD.

Is that what you want? Cos that's what's going to happen.

Why don't you set fire to something by Richard Dawkins instead? Then we'll all turn into atheists and we won't have to put up with your religious bigotry ever again. Religion has fucked up the world enough as it is without like likes of you and your endless twattery making it worse.

Your pal,



Albert O'Balsam


Small Ad


FOR SALE: Two hundred copies of "The Teachings of Buddha" and a packet of fire lighters. BUYER COLLECTS


* Which may be a good thing depending on your point of view

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well said, that man.

Sahara Desert

Invader_Stu said...

Ah yes. Because as we all know burning another religions book won't piss them off or destroy any hope of living in harmony with them.... *cough*

Debster said...

Turd for morons.

Its the only language they understand.

Erin said...

There's always a point where faith and organized religion part ways...

Anonymous said...

There should be a tax on stupidity. He wouldn't be able to afford the matches then.

Isn't religious freedom entrenched in the US constitution? I've always interpreted that as the freedom to practice as you see fit. He clearly thinks it means the freedom to insult other people's practice as he sees fit.

Has anyone suggested setting fire to him yet?

Anonymous said...

As someone said this week, he wants to commemorate 9/11 by causing another one.
skirmishmonkey.

Keith said...

I've always wanted to make a "citizens arrest". Now is my chance.

"I, Smiffy the Indifferent, arrest you, Scary Duck the Weird Person, in the name of Allah for spreading alarm and despondency in the form of religious hatred and inciting violence to zombies!"

Inceidently, who the f**k is Richard Dawkins? One of your somewhat dubious friends?

Debster said...

A non-religious nutter, m'lud.

removalizer said...

So its alright for the Muslims to set fire to the American flag as they constantly do ?

TRT said...

A thief cannot steal from an empty house. If you place such value on the physical, then you allow your enemies to have power over you.

Adopting Islam:
Pros. Divine love in every aspect of your life, it's OK to date Muslim women.

Cons. No more bacon.

Anonymous said...

um. excuse me for pointing this out. but the american flag- though americans would love to think so- wasnt made by god.
i dont know...
... maybe you can check with all those red indians on that there reservation about the divinity of it all.

TRT said...

And for a couple of hundred years, the Q'ran wasn't written down. Your point is...?

Lord Andrew of Goulding said...

I seldom swear but who gives a fuck about any of them, really!