On my journey into work of a morning, I know exact moment when I switch the radio off and the MP3 player on. Sometimes, I don't quite make it to the "OFF" switch:
"It's seventeen minutes to six on BBC Radio Four, and it's time for Prayer for the Day. This morning's half-arsed moralising comes couresy of Sister Mary O'Dreary representing the Order of St Margaret the Dull"You know, I don't think Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ was in the business of building and operating prisoner-of-war camps, so I have the impression that a searchlight is entirely out of the question.
"Good morning, everybody. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus told his disciples that they were to shine as the light of the world. That got me thinking - what kind of light should they be? Should they be a searchlight, looking for the souls of the lost…?"
If Jesus wanted his disciples to be any sort of light, it would have been this: Disco.
He lived in Roman times, he hung around with blokes and floozies, so I dare say he would have told his homies to get dressed up in a toga, be most excellent to each other and party on, dudes.
However, despite taking a vow never to gamble, I'd be prepared to bet you a sackful of shekels that her final conclusion won't be three flashing lights in a box at the Muscle Boyz Nite Spot in Ibiza.
"Oh Lord, teach us to be a soft, welcoming light so that we may..."The dreary old moo.