"I've got a present for you," she says."Ooh!" I reply as she hands me a two kilogram bag of dried fruit.
It's more of a sack, to be honest. And I'm not sure about the raisins, as rabbits may have become involved at some stage.
"I can't eat them," she tells me, "they're full of sugar and I'm on a diet."
I do my manly duty and tell her she is beautiful enough as it is; and tuck in, handful after lovely fruity handful.
"Om nom nom nom," I say, noticing the name on the packet, "Fruit surprise? Nom nom lovely nom. What's the surprise?"
"Yeah, that's the other reason I can't eat them. They give you the shits."
SPANG!
ALSO: It is The Fragrant Mrs Duck's birthday today. Happy Birthday, The Fragrant Mrs Duck.
11 comments:
Happy birthday The Tolerant Mrs Duck. Mr's Duck and all.
Argh! Afflicted by Grocersapostropheitis.
It is fixed, and additional funneh added.
Glad I am so far away from you today!
Fragrant *and* tolerant - Happy Birthday, Mrs Duck. Here's hoping there's some non-raisin treats in your future. And if they have to be raisins, may they be chocolate covered.
Time for the toilet, Duck.
Happy birthday, tfmd. And congratulationtinos on giving the gift that keeps on giving.
Happy Birthday Fragrant Mrs D......
....and SD - here's hoping when the shit hits the pan it don't go SPANG!
It must be a sign of true love
Happy Birthday, TFMD!
She deserves a very big, very expensive present, you know.
Most happy birthday, TFMD!
Many more.
Happy woe-avoiding birthday TFMD.
oh fruit oh fruit, do I love u the best. oh yes above all the rest. cause you is edible, fruit. ode to me fruit!
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