"I've got a present for you," she says.
"Ooh!" I reply as she hands me a two kilogram bag of dried fruit.
It's more of a sack, to be honest. And I'm not sure about the raisins, as rabbits may have become involved at some stage.
"I can't eat them," she tells me, "they're full of sugar and I'm on a diet."
I do my manly duty and tell her she is beautiful enough as it is; and tuck in, handful after lovely fruity handful.
"Om nom nom nom," I say, noticing the name on the packet, "Fruit surprise? Nom nom lovely nom. What's the surprise?"
"Yeah, that's the other reason I can't eat them. They give you the shits."
ALSO: It is The Fragrant Mrs Duck's birthday today. Happy Birthday, The Fragrant Mrs Duck.