Tuesday, October 05, 2010

On UNLIMITED SEX

On UNLIMITED SEX

OK, I'll admit it. We were watching the X Factor.

As it switches to an advert break, we turn the sound back on so we may reap the full benefit of the creative hurricane that is Britain's advertising industry.

"Wait," says the Fragrant Mrs Duck in surprise and alarm as a certain mobile telephony company that rhymes with 'Spolinge' presents its latest offers, "What did that phone advert just say?"

I hadn't been giving the TV my 100 per cent attention, so the charming wife goes through the bullet points.

"It said free internet, free satnav, free photo messages and unlimited sex."

"Unlimited WHAT?"

"Unlimited sex. Why would they give away unlimited sex?"

We rewind the Sky Plus, and it's bad news.

"Texts," I say, "Unlimited texts."

"Oh. That's a shame."

"Damn shame."

10 comments:

Pseudonymph said...

Unlimited sex??
Just get married ;)

isolator42 said...

Sky Plus?
there's posh.

No Tweets from JM for days now. Maybe he's job-hunting...

Debster said...

Turd for having the wrong phone. At the moment my battery life is about 10 hours.

Richard said...

Pseudonymph. How long have you been married?

Erin said...

But how good would you expect the sex to be, coming from a company that rhymes with 'Spolinge'?

TRT said...

Switch to vibrate.

Pseudonymph said...

@ Richard - nearly 17 years. Why?

Richard said...

Blimey, I must have been doing something wrong. The phrases "Unlimited sex" and "marriage" became largely mutually incompatible from the precise moment I said "I do" after 6 years of being engaged. Another 17 years was how long it took for me to get really bored.

WrathofDawn said...

Marriage put the same blight on my sex life, Richard. Although the exact timing escapes me. If I'd known it was the last time, I'd have paid more attention, y'see.

Luckily for us, there's a wonderful, wonderful remedy.

Lord Andrew of Goulding said...

@ Richard

17? You did well!