On UNLIMITED SEX
OK, I'll admit it. We were watching the X Factor.
As it switches to an advert break, we turn the sound back on so we may reap the full benefit of the creative hurricane that is Britain's advertising industry.
"Wait," says the Fragrant Mrs Duck in surprise and alarm as a certain mobile telephony company that rhymes with 'Spolinge' presents its latest offers, "What did that phone advert just say?"
I hadn't been giving the TV my 100 per cent attention, so the charming wife goes through the bullet points.
"It said free internet, free satnav, free photo messages and unlimited sex."
"Unlimited sex. Why would they give away unlimited sex?"
We rewind the Sky Plus, and it's bad news.
"Texts," I say, "Unlimited texts."
"Oh. That's a shame."