A personal message to Brandon Flowers out of The Killers

A personal message to Brandon Flowers out of The Killers

"I'm on my knees
Looking for an answer
Are we human?
Or are we dancer?"

So sang Brandon Flowers of the popular beat combo The Killers.

And, thussly, my message to him is this:

Get a grip, man. You're on your knees wearing a jacket that makes you look like a giant pheasant, whilst simultaneously trying to "throw some shapes" around the dancefloor.

If there is one thing SCIENCE and MATHS have proved, it is this: No man can dance whilst doing a Toulouse Lautrec impression. Did the Inspector Clouseau films completely pass you by, Flowers?

You, sir, dance like a drunken uncle at a disco and must be stopped. People like you should be forced bodily through a tea-strainer and turned into a cornish pasty, and the pasty fired out of a cannon at Jimmy Carr. Now get up, put on a sensible spangly jacket and dance like a man.

Apart from that: Number One Fan