Wednesday, October 27, 2010

On the endemic cruelty of Hollywood

On the endemic cruelty of Hollywood

End of film.

Credits roll.

Fade to black.

My charming daughter Scaryduckling speaks.

"Hey! They didn't say 'No animals were harmed in the making of this film'."

"There's a good excuse for that," I say. "They punched a dog."

"What? They did WHAT?!"

"Punched a dog. At the end of every scene.

"CUT! The director would shout, and an old man would punch a dog."

"Spielberg's a BASTARD."

There's a pause.

"Cor, bloody hell you'd fall for anything. Of course Steven Spielberg would never pay a man to come in an punch a dog."

"Oh, good."

"He did it for free."

8 comments:

Pseudonymph said...

He'd throw lemmings off a cliff for a hobby?

Debster said...

A hobby would certainly be able to catch an airborne lemming.

Erin said...

Hooray for toying with your child's mind. Every parent's duty, apparently.

Pseudonymph said...

@ Erin: Duty? Reason for living, I say.

isolator42 said...

My role-model as a father is Calvin's dad from Calvin & Hobbes...
If in doubt, make it up & make it fun :)

grayacre said...

So... were any animals harmed in the making of this blog?

WrathofDawn said...

It is the ONLY reason for living once the rugrats arrive.

A Scaryduckling may have had her feathers ruffled.

Scaryduck said...

grayacre: Yes, I strangled a goose.