End of film.Credits roll.
Fade to black.
My charming daughter Scaryduckling speaks.
"Hey! They didn't say 'No animals were harmed in the making of this film'."
"There's a good excuse for that," I say. "They punched a dog."
"What? They did WHAT?!"
"Punched a dog. At the end of every scene.
"CUT! The director would shout, and an old man would punch a dog."
"Spielberg's a BASTARD."
There's a pause.
"Cor, bloody hell you'd fall for anything. Of course Steven Spielberg would never pay a man to come in an punch a dog."
"Oh, good."
"He did it for free."
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