"Oh, hello!"

"Oh, hello!"

There is nothing - nothing - worse than getting caught up in somebody else's in-joke. Apart, perhaps, from coming home to find Yoko Ono wiping her arse on your curtains. But getting caught up in an in-joke is nearly as bad.

And school teachers are the worst:

"Here, Coleman", said Mr Wilko hardly able to hide his mirth, "Take this message to Dr Jenkins next door."

"What message, sir?"

"This: [posh voice] 'Oh, Hello!'"

[rolls eyes] "What? Again? That's the third time today sir."

There is a knock on the door.

"Come!"

In walks Simon from the class next door. He looks nervous.

"Well?"

"Message from Dr Jenkins, sir."

"YES?"

"It's... It's... [posh voice] Oh, hello!"

A roar of childish laughter can be heard from the classroom down the corridor.

"You still here, Coleman?"

And they dare to call ME mad.