Twenty years! Twenty years of living with a woman who made me watch Emmerdale every single night! Twenty years! Then, my marriage on the rocks, I move to a flat where my new flatmate's guilty secret is his love of Britian's fourth favourite soap opera. Every. Single. Night. Forever.
So, imagine this recent text exchange with the ex:
Me: "OK, when's a good time to call you and discuss something?"If I wasn't already divorced, I'd get a divorce.
Her: "About 7pm."
Me: "7pm? Won't you be watching Emmerdale?"
Her: "I don't watch it any more. It's gone rubbish."
Me: GAAAAAAH!
8 comments:
'My Marriage On The Rocks'.
Sounds like a good name for a .....soap opera.
Scene: A bar. A bartender, not unlike SOMEDUCK we all know is polishing a glass. A gorgeous woman who likes amateur comedians and published authors walks in.
'Hi. What's good to drink around here?'
'My Marriage, On the Rocks?'
She raises an eyebrow at him as scene fades to an adbreak.
Sickking in a hedge and crapping in a bag could also be worked in as a common theme reward for regular viewers.
I once knew a woman called Emma Dale.
But HA! This is one where I WIN! My ex-wife has a new boyfriend and he loves both Corrie and Emmerdale.
So now the once hallowed walls of my house no longer resonate with the divine strains of Gilbert and Sullivan, Fauré and Mozart, but have to endure the unholy trinity of soap opera instead. Myself, I get to watch Dr. Who whenever I want (almost), including the crap black and white ones.
What I was able to glean from this sermon on soap operas was this - The Former Fragrant Mrs. Duck only liked watching said Soap Opera when it annoyed Mr. Scaryduck.
Now that he's not there to torture with it - it's gone rubbish.
FARM. It's Emmerdale FARM.
Is Michael Jayston still in it? He used to be really sexy about 40 years ago.
Michael Jayston? Isn't he 'The Valeyard'?
Your Ex and my mum would get on well.
She still greets at any sad bits and thinks they're real people no actors.
OK I know actors are people too but you know what I mean.
He was that as well. And Mr Rochester.
Watching Corrie Street as we speak, courtesy of our lovely CBC website. It's about five months behind the British schedule, but it'll do.
The ex loves Corrie St. Even the devil has his good points.
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