Now that I am a single man, my flatmate and I have taken to watching the kind of quality television that all sane people interested in the socio-economic make-up should be watching, viz: The Jeremy Kyle Show.After many, many hours of watching this pinnacle of the televisual arts*, a never-ending cavalcade of unwanted pregnancies, drugged-up unemployables, and council estate chavs rutting away like monkeys in a zoo we have come to the following conclusion:
Everything on the programme is all the fault of council estate chavs rutting away like monkeys in a zoo. And if we can stop the council estate chavs rutting away like monkeys in a zoo then we have stopped Jeremy Kyle altogether.
And here is our plan.
Everybody likes a cup of tea, and by everybody, we also mean those council estate chavs rutting away like monkeys in a zoo, who need something to drink when they're not rutting, that isn't Special Brew. And by putting bromide into teabags, then they won't feel much like rutting and may instead burn all that excess energy finding a job, or mugging old ladies.
But we don't just go putting bromide in any old tea. Oh no - it just goes in the Tesco Value tea and equivalent "I Can't Believe It's Not Quite Tea" from other equivalent budget supermarkets, so rutting is kept to a minimum.
Then, we pay a discrete visit to the Twinings factory and spike their entire supply with Viagra, so the only rutting done in this country is by clever people, like you and me. And God knows I need it.
Sure, it's not a million miles from what Adolf Hitler was trying to do, but it is for the GREATER GOOD. Also, I might get laid off it, which can't be all terrible.
I am not mad.
* Actually, it's shit
10 comments:
Around here it's the special blend of Yorkshire Tea only sold in pound shops by the cwt which you can sprinkle on Asda value cheese and tomato (not Margherita. Who on earth can pronounce that up here) pizza.
Scary, how on earth is you running around after ladies with a bonk on harder than a crowbar going to get you laid?
Ah, sorry I get it. When you get arrested for running around after ladies with a bonk on harder than a crowbar and thrown in prison, you plan to play Dierdre to Burt and Rock the 'Relax Brothers'.
Cunning plan sir, cunning indeed.
Maybe not all terrible for you, but it takes two to tango, and seeing as how your best bet for an actual lay *is* from an actual council estate chav who only would not drop them for so little as a packet of salted peanuts because he/she* wasn't wearing any in the first place, then you'd better think again. I mean, your yummy-mummy plan isn't exactly bearing fruit, is it?
And, AND, you may say it's Adolf Bleedin' Hitler who was into eugenics, but just who was it who signed the UK's eugenics bill before it was scuppered by the house of lords, eh? (I guess they do have their uses). I'll tell you who it was; Winston Bloomin' Churchill, yes, yes, yes.
*delete according to taste/preference/inebriation
Maybe you should stop watching so much television. It seems to angry up the blood with you, à la Granpa Simpson.
Eugenius!
In the matter pertaining to yummy mummys (milf) sans bummy daddys, I unnerstand they maybe approched herein;
http://www.plentyoffish.com/
Of course this is only what I have been told.
Maybe you should stop watching so much television. It seems to angry up the blood with you, à la Granpa Simpson.
thank you
زفات
موقع زفات
زفات
موقع زفات
زفات
زفات
PlentyofFish is full of flounders.
You said it, Gnomie. ;)
"موقع زفات
زفات
موقع زفات
زفات"
I do wish the Welsh would stop filling up your sacred Comments page with their nonsense, Scary.
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