"If you vote for me in the funniest blogs competition," I said, "I'll post some pictures of me pointing angrily at things."
And, true to my word, here are some photos of me pointing angrily at things, presented as a guide for anybody thinking of posing as an Angry Person in their Local Newspaper.
1. The cross-armed glare. In which the subject of a story about an inadequate out-building stands in front of the object of his ire. Ensure you are wearing an approved "Bazinga!" T-shirt
2. Hands on hips. The alternative to the cross-armed glare. For advanced students only.
3. The point. A knowing smile may be a useful alternative to impotent rage and fury
4. Pointing at turds. The Holy Grail of local newspaper reporting. The crouch-and-point is, of course, what all top press lensmen aim for, and many eschew "nose-holding" as over-egging the dog-egg pudding. Fine technique here, we think you will agree.
5. The Letter. At some point, the local press photographer will have to obtain pictures of somebody with a parking ticket, a petition or official letter. It is imperative that the text of said document CANNOT be read by the casual newspaper reader. In this case, we have failed, but present a text-book rabbit-in-the-headlights look which will eventually end up being sold to the Daily Mail when the story goes national
6. The crowd scene. The more the merrier. Rope in small children and passing shoppers if needs be.
And that is how to be an Angry Person in Local Newspapers.