But what's this I see?
The toilet roll is on the holder back-to-front, the hanging bit of the paper running down the wall, the work of SATAN.
For did not OUR LORD once say:
"Blessed are those who let the toilet paper runneth over the top of the roll, for they are wise men whose fingers will not go through the perforations at the wrong moment."Yes. Yes he did. It's in the Bible.
So why, I ask, is this particular establishment (a "Free" church, no less) hanging their toilet rolls in direct defiance to the teachings of OUR LORD?
It is nothing short of BLASPHEMY, and the kind of schism that can and will lead to hundreds of years of warfare; torture; the renting of clothes in twain; and the profane being burned at the stake, refusng to recant their devish toilet roll-hanging ways as the flames lick around their unmentionables.
In the end, I did the only thing that my coscience allowed:
No wonder people don't bother with religion these days.