The best dream I ever had

As I cruise the Facebook, Wessex FM (South Dorset's best music mix) asks its followers: "James had one of those really vivid dreams last night - he dreamt that Pixie Lott phoned him up to enter the Pop Quiz on the Breakfast Show! What was the last dream that you remember?"

You know this is just asking for trouble.

Last night I had this intense dream that I was on an adventure holiday in Malaga with Midge Ure out of Ultravox and that guy with the hair from A Flock of Seagulls. For female interest, former tennis star turned quiz show host Sue Barker joined the party, but was more interested in the all-you-can-eat buffet in the hotel than getting herself under a hang glider, and we left her piling a third plate high with cooked meats and bread rolls whilst even the German hotel guests harrumphed their dissatisfaction.

We last saw her being violently ill in the swimming pool, bowking rich, brown vomit all over a sun lounger.

Eventually, Midge, Hair Bloke and I were just getting our hiking gear together for an assault on the local snow-capped peaks for which the beach resort of Malaga is rightly famed, chasing local urchins down the street with ice picks when I farted myself awake with a start, looked over at the clock (2.07am) and the dream was gone.

And if this ends up on the radio, good luck.

It ended up on the radio.