I recently had reason to spend a night in a hotel room whilst visiting family. Of course, this means only one thing: Stealing the entire contens of the tea tray in your room, and worrying about the consequences later.
However, with all stolen goods, there is always the problem with how to fence them, and I found myself stuck with a handful of hot hot chocolate sachets. I thought, then, it would be best to offer them to my beloved, because I'm a changed man these days.
"Hi honey, I'm home and I've got you a present! Behold: Stolen hot chocolate sachets!"
She is shocked and somewhat taken aback on account of her highly developed social conscience, which is no laughing matter, and tells me so.
"I am shocked and somewhat taken aback on account of my highly developed social conscience, which is no laughing matter."
"Oh."
"I do not think I can accept these stolen goods. In fact, I have dialled the first two nines of 999, and it is only the smallest of movements of my index finger to land you in a whole sea of trouble."
One final throw of the dice...
"They're Fair Trade."
"NINE."
There's no pleasing some people.
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