I'm throwing my hat into the ring to be a judge in the World Championships of Hat Throwing.
It's a world where throwing your hat - accurately - into a ring is paramount, and those who cannot throw their hat into the ring are cast out as losers.
After a recent split from those who throw their hats onto a spike or a so-called hat-stand, very much like the game of quoits, the World Competitive Hat Throwing Council re-asserts its drive for utmost accuracy and fair play in hat-throwing and will have nothing to do with the branch of the sport that is little more than a fairground game.
And, as such, we are now at war with the World Competitive Hat Throwing Board. While they have the weight of numbers, we have the dead-eye accuracy which will have this struggle over by Christmas, and the traditional World Competitive Santa Hat Throwing Championships.
Hats, everybody!
I am not mad.
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