Press Freedom: A new twist

For years, the printed press in this country has been running amok, and it is clear that self-regulation just isn't working. And that is why we're watching the long-running Leveson Inquiry into media ethics, as we try to find a way of reigning in the worst excesses of the industry.

But, frankly, while papers are free to print what they like on their front pages, then subsequently - and months later - publish a tiny apology on page 22, nothing's going to change.

We need new ideas, and I've come up with this spunker:

That's right: Force errant newspaper editors to publish their mastheads in Comic Sans (The Font of Champions) until they're sorry.

Short of following these people home and crapping through their letterboxes (it being the only language these curs understand), it will be the only language these curs understand.

I am not mad.