Monday, February 18, 2013
DEATH UPON PEOPLE WHO THROW CIGARETTE BUTTS OUT OF CAR WINDOWS
There is nothing worse* than driving behind somebody, especially at night, and being distracted by the flying and still-lit cigarette butt, sparks going all over the shop. You've got an ash tray in your car next to the cigarette lighter, you twat. Use it.
I am not speaking from a position of ignorance. I tried cigarettes for about a week once, before giving away half a packet of Marlboros to an ungrateful tramp ("Where's the rest of them, you bastard?") and that included an unsuccessful experiment with in-car smoking.
I don't know if it's because I'm left-handed (smoking in-car seems to be all the easier if you hold the cancer stick on the window side for easier ash-tipping and butt-ejection), but I was all over the place and getting better acquainted with - variously - road-side bushes and oncoming traffic. If you're distracted talking on a mobile or farting about with your MP3 player when driving, the smoking is AT LEAST a million times as bad.
And, frankly, if you can't manage the commute to work without a smoke, you're in a bad, bad way. Give it a rest, you planks.
* Usual disclaimer applies. There's always something worse, for eg having your legs eaten by a shark