Tuesday, April 07, 2009

On composite films

On composite films

I did one of those "Name your top five movies" lists on that there Facebook recently. The work of two minutes, it was – in the words of TV's favourite meerkat – "Simples".

The problem was that there are FAR TOO MANY movies to create a sensible top five list, a state of affairs that Hollywood should address forthwith.

This can easily be achieved by taking a couple of movies, splice them together, and turn them into a new film that is at least 200% better, and top five lists far easier to compile.

It also opens up whole new vistas in DVD marketing, George Lucas take note.

Let's see:

  • Electric Dreams + Blues Brothers = Electric Blue

  • Blown Away + Michael Caine = The Italian Blow Job

  • Roger Moore + Sean Connery = The Spy Who Fingered My Pussy Galore

  • Rio Bravo + Ghostbusters = Bra-busters

  • Star Wars I + Fanny by Gaslight + Gone With The Wind = The Phantom Fanny Fart

  • Confessions of a Shopaholic + Stephen King's It = ShIt

  • Ben Hur + Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee + Hamburger Hill + Showgirls = The Ben Knee Hill Show

  • Danny de Vito + The Crying Game = Throw Momma From The Tranny

  • A Bug's Life + The Wrong Trousers = Ants In My Pants

  • Deep Impact + Rear Window + The Rough Riders = Pain In The Arse

  • Oceans 11 + Oceans 12 + Oceans 13 + Dead Man's Chest = 36-DD

  • Nick Hornby + Lady and the Tramp = About a Ladyboy

  • James Bond + Curse Of The Were-Rabbit = Quantum of Wallace

  • (20, 000 Leagues Under The Sea / 8 Mile) – 2001: A Space Odyssey + Anne of One Hundred Days + It Happened One Night x Fantastic 4 – Nineteen Eighty-Four – 102 Dalmations – (Se7en x Star Trek II) = 300

Here's a few from my Twittering hordes:

  • From Nosemonkey: Huphrey Bogart + Hugh Grant + Lauren Bacall + Julia Roberts = To Have And To Have Notting Hill

  • From infoholicuk: Pulp Fiction + Daniel Craig = Casino Royale with Cheese

Get in there!

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