Wednesday, May 20, 2009

On website design

On website design

"So," I ask, "Run that last bit past me again - how do the punters contact us?"

"Either through the 'About us' or 'Help' pages."

"Either?"

"S'right. The 'About us' links to the 'Help' page. and the 'Help' page links to 'About us'. In the end they'll get sick of going round and round in circles they'll forget what they were complaining about."

"Brilliant."

"Thanks."

"But... hang on..." I say, the wheels clanking into motion inside my head, "What if they're actual customers who want to send us actual cash money?

"No probs," says the shiny-suited web bloke, "While they've been busy on your website, they've also downloaded a sexy little app that logs into their online banking, empties their account and sells their entire family and possessions on Ebay."

"WIN!"

"I'd go as far as saying EPIC WIN. Have you seen my car?"

"Wait...wait..." I say, the seeds of doubt still germinating despite the obvious riches just around the corner, "What if they complain?"

"About us. Help."

"Yeah - but to the police?"

"Who do you think did their website?"

"Genius."

"Thanks."

20 comments:

The Wrath of Dawn said...

Firstly first!

Also known as, how I am up too late.

Pseudonymph said...

Dawn. Go to bed this instant! Productions don't produce themselves, you know.
Also this: Nodafone's Help Line = oxymoron.

Debster said...

I get up this early for a measly turd???

Pseudonymph said...

Better than doing it before you get up, Debster!

Scaryduck said...

Ah. Right. That's where I've been going wrong

TRT said...

Oddly, seeing your picture of a vintage piece of WINNING computer gear, I have carried an old Amiga 500 down to work with me. I plan to swap it for cold, hard CASH.

I have several more if anyone else is interested.

Pseudonymph said...

TRT - I am in need of Amigos. Muchos Amigos.

Erin said...

Pseudonymph - you're in need of male friends?? ;)

Pseudonymph said...

Not uncoincidentally, I just posted 'It's raining men' to my friend M. Still waiting on 'It's raining water'...

Misty said...

I wish I'd thought of that...

Hurrah! for bent coppaz!

Amicirichard said...

Scary,

Happy Birthday to Your Brother.

Sigg3.net said...

I've gotta reconsider my move outta the webdesign business.
It used to be completely 1999 but now it's all 419!

Scaryduck said...

Richard: Ah yes. Happy birthday Bro.

Kevin 'In Salford' said...

Yep! S'right! Ever wondered why the modem/router lights are flashing like mad when nothing is happening on your screen?

Reminds me of a certain Internet 'Total Protection' software a couple of years ago that invited you to enter all your personal details, including bank account details and passwords, into it so's they won't be sent out without your permission. It was an open invitation to the hackers!

Oh, An_Amiga? An_Amiga_still_exists?
I_thought_all_Amigas_had_been_replaced_ by_that_other_outdated_computer_called_the_Apple_Mac!

Rik said...

I have recently acquired a Spectrum +2, and already own an Amstrad 1512SD, 2 BBC masters, and an Apricot Luggable.

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