What's your bus count?The 'bus count' is an internationally recognised measure within the business world quantifying how many key staff members falling under buses are required before any given company grinds to a halt.
A bus count of one in your company is bad news.
A bus count of four is regarded as the absolute minimum, but if you find yourself with four vital staff members falling under buses, you either have a pressing need to get the Green Cross Man to make a personal appearance, or your local bus company has no in-house procedure for rooting out the psychopaths and the registered blind.
Or, of course, your competitors could simply be using our services.
Welcome to BUS COUNT BEATERS - a new service for the business that wants to get ahead.
Worried that your competitors have the edge?
Is your throat getting cut in this cut-throat market?
Need to even things up a bit?
Never fear - get yourself to the front of the queue with BUS COUNT BEATERSAll our drivers are fully-uninsured and PSV unqualified, and only undertake their duties in the best, unmarked, un-MOTed, specially re-inforced double deckers sourced only from the least well-known Russian defence exporters.
All contracts 100 per cent fully researched, rehearsed and guaranteed - Your competitors buried between two barn doors, or YOUR MONEY BACK!
BUS COUNT BEATERS - THEY WON'T KNOW WHAT HIT THEM*
* But it will be a bus
13 comments:
Yes. Let's get rid of the nastiness of the life.
A bus should do it.
And bust count? Just the one.
Great. You got rid of the spam. Now to the casual observer, I just sound crazy.
What is going on in your life when you see tweets like this one by Scaryduck and can't stop laughing?
- - -
What is going on in your life when you go to bed and dream of setting up a printer network?
about 1 hour ago from web
duckorange
Alistair Coleman
Love to see a bus with a cow-catcher on the front.
I could give the driver a list.......
Donna - yes! I'd enjoy that. We could also put them on some type of cart and send them through the shopping malls.
What's a bard door?
One you shake your spear at.
How about the 'Back End of a Bus' count?
Debster: Good thing I don't work in an industry where an ability to spell is a bonus.
Oh.
Is it teh true what I read that they are going to (or already have) get rid of the pretty red 2-storey busses in teh Engerland?
I would be most sad. They are very cute. Even if I never get over across the pond to ride in one, I would like to go on knowing they are over there, driving about, ready and waiting for me to finagle a way to visit the whole of the UK and ride one of them as part of my Totally Excellent Adventure, UK®
@ scaryduckvoter
Doesn't everybody "go to bed and dream of setting up a printer network" at least once in a while?
As the late Graham Chapman said (possibly a paraphrase):
"Who can honestly say that they haven't set fire to some great public building - I know I have!"
A bard door is the one you push the dog through saying, "Out! Out damned Spot!"
*sigh* I gotta post earlier, don't I?
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