So, I return to work after two weeks' paid holiday in the bosom of my loving family.I log onto the computer system, and groan inwardly as my mailbox reveals some 1,500 emails have arrive in my absence, work-related messages hiding behind a deluge of offers for Viagra and fakes Rolexes.
The last thing I want, then, is for my Outlook Calendar to do that cheerful "You've got an appointment" sound and remind me that I have a six-hour meeting entitled (and I quote) "Asset manipulation metadata".
In fifteen minutes.
While recognising that this is a serious business, where there is very little solutioneering, picking of low-hanging fruit and rear-view-mirrorism going on, the last thing you want to see on a Monday morning – unless used as the name for a particularly exciting Canadian industrial techno band - are the words "Asset Manipulation Metadata" in close proximity.
I'd go as far as saying that "Asset Manipulation Metadata" on a Monday morning is the sort of thing that makes a man want to slay his colleagues with a pick-axe handle, hiding their still-warm bodies in a hurriedly-dug trench at the far end of the car park.
In other news, a spate of sudden ...err... resignations and permanent emigrations to the Antipodes means there are now twenty-seven vacancies in my place of work.
CVs in the post, please. I promise no asset manipulation will occur.
13 comments:
Could be worse. Could be a meeting about 'Arses manipulation Muckydata'
You're not alone. Mr Nymph has had his assets manipulated, too. 3 children is enough.
I think Dawn may have been in that band, way back.
So, I'm thinking I might buy stocks in several DIY stores. You seem to go through a lot of pick-axes and shovels. Not without reason, of course. Asset Manipulation Metadata? That's just cruel and unusual.
Its probably just a euphemism for a long meeting with choklit biskits.
There were NO BISKITS
how does one go about having their assets manipulated and where to I sign up??
You called everyone together to pick their brains?
Do the CV's have to contain Rich Brown Vomit While Being Sick Inna Hedge ?
And can we pick bogies as well as brainz?
It sounds like you have worse meetings then me
You forgot the quicklime...
No one pays us to have meetings where we have our assets manipulated. I'm surprised (and weirdly impressed) that you are able to do that in front of other people...
Sadly, the band I was in was not nearly that exciting.
Plz me to hire for the monitoring of medias. I am job.
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