On cynical system design
"So," I say to the IT chaps, "You say we're getting WYSIWYG on this new system."
"Yeah, that's what I thought you said. What is it, and how much have we paid?"
"What You See Is What You Never Get, Ever. It's free, and adds comedy value."
"Well, that's a relief."
"You think you're putting together a complete and detailed audio-visual presentation for the board of directors, and it throws in whole pages of text in Comic Sans, sparkly Stars-and-Stripes and a mother-in-law joke written by Frank Carson. It's the way he tells 'em, so I hear."
"So I hear. How's the Uploaded Pictures of Your Arse detector coming along?"
"RUBBISH. We're having to use WYSIWYG."
"Oh, that is unfortunate."