On things not to say at a funeral
Things not to say at a funeral. I repeat: Things not to say at a funeral
- "What's that Sam? The money's in the coffin? Bless you Sam."
- "...Funk to funky / We know Major Tom's a junkie"
- "3... 2...1... MEXICAN WAVE!"
- "We've swapped the funeral music for the Birdie Song. Let's see if they're GAME FOR A LAUGH!"
- "Skip to the end, padre. I've got a good feeling about the will."
- "Has anyone mentioned that you look SO hot in black?"
- "Can I have your autograph? It's not for me..."
- "Yeah, face down and covered in garlic, as per your instructions."
- "And the real tragedy is that Jim Davidson's still walking the Earth."
- "I thought it was going to be a Y-shaped coffin"
From Twitter's @DanielOppenheim, who wins an INTARNET: "HA! You dead bastard! I made it! I'm Solihull's 4th greatest piano tuner now!!!"
I have actually said one of these lines. Go on, guess.
Also: Add more.