Thursday, December 03, 2009

On things not to say at a funeral

On things not to say at a funeral

Things not to say at a funeral. I repeat: Things not to say at a funeral

- "What's that Sam? The money's in the coffin? Bless you Sam."

- "...Funk to funky / We know Major Tom's a junkie"

- "3... 2...1... MEXICAN WAVE!"

- "We've swapped the funeral music for the Birdie Song. Let's see if they're GAME FOR A LAUGH!"

- "Skip to the end, padre. I've got a good feeling about the will."

- "Has anyone mentioned that you look SO hot in black?"

- "Can I have your autograph? It's not for me..."

- "Yeah, face down and covered in garlic, as per your instructions."

- "And the real tragedy is that Jim Davidson's still walking the Earth."

- "I thought it was going to be a Y-shaped coffin"

From Twitter's @DanielOppenheim, who wins an INTARNET: "HA! You dead bastard! I made it! I'm Solihull's 4th greatest piano tuner now!!!"

I have actually said one of these lines. Go on, guess.

Also: Add more.

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