On the death of the Renault Scenic of DOOM
"Here," said The Fragrant Mrs Duck, "I've bought you an air freshener for your car."
Not just one - no less than eight pine fresh "Come on ENGLAND!" air fresheners.
The world smiles upon me.
I hang one of the pine fresh "Come on ENGLAND!" air fresheners from the mirror of the Renault Scenic of DOOM with a certain amount of national pride.
"Bloody hell!" says The Fragrant Mrs Duck, "That smells like a pub toilet."
I drive away, the world still smiling upon me, the Renault Scenic of DOOM smelling of a pub toilet from its brand new pine fresh "Come on ENGLAND!" air freshener.
And just outside Winchester there is a sudden "pinnnnng!" as the head end of the Renault Scenic of DOOM goes, and the Renault Scenic of DOOM meets its actual DOOM.
I stand for an hour on the hard shoulder of the M3 motorway, the pouring rain dripping off my Highways Agency-issue poncho considering my predicament.
So.
SPECIAL OFFER: Get yourself a FREE pine fresh "Come on ENGLAND!" air freshener. Limited stock. Guaranteed not curs-ed at all*.
Poor the Renault Scenic of DOOM. May she rust in peace**.
* Might actually kill your car to DEATH
** Sorry.
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