On making critical business decisions
"Right – that's the new corporate strategy decided – how do we roll it out across the business?"
"Wait... WHAT? Did you just say what I thought you said?"
"Yeah: Free fags. The only place where people actually talk to each other is in the smoking shelter in the car park.
"Give everybody a packet of tasty, tasty Bensons a day and watch productivity go through the roof."
"Good Lord – I think you're right. Action point for you: Day trip to Calais. Any more bright ideas?"
"And for the managers: Daily allowance of twenty ...uh... thirty notes behind the bar in the social club. Same reasoning. You guys only ever open up when you're hammered. Might as well make it official."
"This is turning out to be the BEST MEETING EVER."
Then I woke up and my pillow was gone.