Dear the PoliceI've had one spunker of an idea for dealing with anarchists, lefties and people who like a good old riot against THE MAN.
Silly string for riot control
I know what you're thinking, and I'm sure you can pay off the unemployed Canadian seal clubbers you've got lined up for next May Day. For satisfying that the sound of Canadian seal club against a crusty's skull may be, it's not good PR.
Rioters hate having their skulls crushed by Canadian seal clubbers, and they're not too hot on being doused with water cannon filled with battery acid either, so that's why I recommend arming your officers and riot trucks with silly string.
Everybody loves silly string, and a good, hard squirt smothering the great unwashed will be enough to defuse any tricky situation and turn even the most violent of riots into a street party.
Then, when the silly string sets rock hard, you can bundle the curs into the back of a van and send in the Canadian Seal Clubbers.
I will, of course, share the profits from this venture 50-50 with the Boys in Blue.
I am not mad.
Your pal,
Albert O'Balsam
9 comments:
I will take this idea, claim it as my own, and achieve the next rank! Ah HA!
Police have already tried using bubble blowers to calm revellers. By extension, with a little nozzle adjustment, injecting their high pressure water cannon streams with fairy liquid and CS gas, they could create another fun method of riot suppression
Most of the Inuit have better things to do, but times are tough. Work is work.
lovely idea...it might just work in south africa.... except we tend to Start off dancing and toy-toying..and then escalate to random burning/attacking/hijacking.
hmmm.
i guess wehave to get them early, when we can hand out free drinks with tranquilisers- for the party spirit:P
definite potential....
I'd have thought the South African equivalent was the dreaded vuvuzela?
I just can't help thinking this is actually a genius idea. Although neither can I help thinking, if adopted, it would only promote rioting as a new leisure interest.
*sigh* You've been listening to certain ill-informed English "celebrities" again, haven't you?
Canadian Seal Club? Hakapik, Scary. Hakapik.
Might I suggest an alternate plan? Instead of battering rioters with a hakapik or spraying them with silly string, why don't you spray them with Canadian Club? They'd be legless in no time and then you could drag them off to "saftey" with the pointy end of your hakapik. There's good eatin' on one of them rioters.
Anyone else think that policeman looks like Goofy in that mask?
the only winner out of em all when it's either me or the coppers, I win hands up! Everytime.
Between the foul language and the hexes fostered at em, it's always me, me me!
they go down one by one.
I doan even need a gun!
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