I'm an Alistair. For this, I blame the parents.Because of this, much of my life has been blighted by three words.
"Where's Crystal Tipps?"
So I tell them.
She grew up, wore shorter and shorter miniskirts, changed her name to Crystal Meth, and the rest is far too tragic to tell.
Luckily, once this song came out, the heat was off me and right onto my brother.
16 comments:
I'm happy that there are no childhood cartoons using my name. I have a friend called Luke who grew up around the time of a certain popular movie and his life was hell.
I'd kill to be an Alistair. Imagine sharing a first name with Everyone's Favourite Asian Stalinist Dictator and Supreme Leader For Life and Beloved of All Who Starve Before Him as He Drives Past in His Gold Plated Mercedes.
You can see why I changed it to Pseudonymph.
But if you were a girl (and that's a small if going by yesterdays post) your parents would have called you after that other cartoon from that era. Imagine going round to cries of "Hey, where's Midge?" So just be grateful you weren't called Mungo.
Pseudonymph. Jong at heart, I see. But not Ill.
My hair these days looks like Crystal Tipps hair but not purple. She always used to walk funny.
Personally, I always enjoy pretending each time is the first time I've ever heard it. Years of responding, "Ha, ha, that's so funny, you're a clever one, my sides ache from laughter." I am to this day Little Orphan Annie, Annie Oakley, Annie Get Your Gun (Annie Oakley, again?) and my personal favorite, just rhyming Annie with the first unimaginative word that pops into your head :)
You wouldn't believe the amount of startling originality fired at me over the years, especially when my name and surname are combined. One of my daughter's friends tried asking me on Facebook whether I was fed up with it, the young rascal. I told him I hadn't a clue what he was on about and could he explain?
Want more time with parents and children with family? Can operate as long as the trivial time
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Children are arseholes.
But that said - I would like to respond to Internetbusinessathomeautomatedsystem:
No. I do not want to spend more time with parents and children with family. I get enough of that crap just walking thru Wal-Mart to buy a package of underwear. Take your free market full of annoying toddlers and DIAF.
Thank you for your immediate attention to this matter.
Actually, if I knew an Alistair I'd annoy him by asking how Jean and Lionel are doing.
Richard - are you Mr Head?
I can reveal that Richard in NOT a Mr Head, although I genuinely know of one.
Well, your surname could have been 'Darling'.
A) when younger I had really long and wavy hair.
Was constantly asked "Wheres Alistair?" until Kate
Bush came along, then I got her name shouted after me
F***ing hated that cartoon.
B) having a surname that is the same as a piece of clothing
Isn't funny either, people seem to think they are the first
ones to substitute other clothing names and wonder
why you look as though you want to do serious damage
to them.
I have the same problem name, at least it's a problem for others mmore than me. Working in England for years taught me that most of them couldn't manage to pronounce my name properly and usually called me Alis-TAIR. I got fed up correcting them eventually and shortened it to Al.
As a child I also got all the Crystal-Tips comments until I introduced a modicum of violence into the dialogue. That seemed to work too.
No, not a Head. I've met one of them, too. I share a surname, albeit with a slightly different spelling, with a certain ponytailed ex-Arsenal and England keeper. Have also shaken hands with a real-life Michael Hunt and my ex went to school with a Wayne Kerr. I got off lightly.
Back in the 80s I played cricket with a Sri Lankan bloke called Alistair who used to get really pissed off with everyone calling Ali. I told him we'd call him George and it stuck to the point that he'd call himself George if he phoned you up.
I have also worked with a Wayne Kay. The best thing was hearing it being called over the tannoy, to some 1,500 staff.
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