Way back in the 1990s, and being the proud new father, I took the baby Scaryduckling into work to say hello to my colleagues.I sat her down on the console in the studio so she could watch the TV screens and blinking lights, but soon her look of awe changed into a completely different expression altogether.
Her face screwed up into a little ball, and it became apparant that the little lady was doing a poo on tens of thousands of pounds worth of very expensive gear, much to the amusement of my workmates.
No damage done, but I whisked the smelly little parcel away and she never went into my place of work EVER AGAIN.
And now, fifteen years on, my little baby has grown into a confident young woman starting off in her first paying job in a shop in Weymouth.
But should I walk in there and done a poo of the counter, instead of the hearty laughter of her colleagues, I'd almost certainly end up with an ASBO.
Where - I ask - is the justice?
10 comments:
Did she know you posted this? And speaking of posting things: The Mail. This Afternoon. Keep Eyes Peeled.
With qualifications like that, a job as Rupert Murdoch's personal assistant is hers for the asking..
Of the counter?
Similar thing happened near here, years ago when Sainsburys was small, there was a massive queue to pay, probably an hour's worth (remember them?) and a little girl says to mu, I need a poo. So unwilling to give up her place, mum tells her to go in the next aisle. She goes next to a vacant checkout and does a massive poo. The manager rushes out and says, who did this? Mum says, my little girl, she is a good girl and didn't mess her knickers and if you had more staff we would have been out of here by now. The queue were then treated to the sight of the manager cleaning up the mess and all the checkouts magically opening. We all laughed ...
So fifteen years ago you were changing her nappy ... and in another fifteen years, she'll be changing yours.
Isn't that sweet? :)
Do the poo. You never know what happens. Perhaps they'll like it? Maybe it's that kind of shop.
"Done a poo OF the counter"??? Wow, that's an impressive feat, although you surely wouldn't be welcome in that particular boutique ever again, I think.
Actually, if you can hold off for a couple of weeks, Theresa May says you can done a poo on the counter without getting an ASBO. Big up to the ConDems.
Yesterday I was walking home about 6.45pm and it was as if I had walked into a Scary theme park. There, comfortably ensconced innahedge by the allotments, still clutching a perpendicular can of Strongbow and talking to himself in his sleep, was our friendly neighbourhood tramp. Fortunately he hadn't yet been sick, probably as it wasn't yet Friday.
ScaryduckLand Amusement Park....
One boggles at the thought.
All the rides would be "....of DOOM"
Duck characters wobbling around being sick in hedges... doing poo's in sheds...
It has promise, doesn't it. The Silver Hornet ride that never gets to the end and a Tunnel of Love that disappears up a giant Jimmy Carr's arse will do for starters.
ScaryD - do the poo and stick a SALE sign on it.
You never know....
Pseudonymph - saw the story, laughed like a drain.
Never will hear them in the same way again.
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