On wildlife conservation
We here at Scaryduck Labs were upset to hear of the death of Hamley, the world's number one giraffe actor, killed by a bolt of lightning on the set of ITV's Wild At Heart drama.
Determined as we are to prevent a further tragedy on the channel's favourite drama that isn't Heartbeat, we have worked for a full ten minutes on a system that will save the lives of our long-necked friends everywhere:
Lightning rods for giraffes
Let's face it, when you're the tallest thing on the Serengeti, the last thing you want to see are the rolling black clouds that bring a storm and CERTAIN DEATH. Giraffes can't talk, but if they did, we would imagine they'd be saying "Awww, crap - I wish someone would hurry up and invent some sort of lighning conductor for very tall mammals."
And now we have.
As the life-giving rains pour down, and the death-bringing lightning forks around the Great Rift Valley, our lanky friends can go safe in the knowledge that any potentially fatal electrical charge will go safely to Earth, thanks to the ScaryDuck Labs Giraffe-Safe Lightning Rod. They also come with a handy red light, to guard against low-flying aircraft.
Or, through the next tallest thing on the Serengeti: Scaryduck Labs Double Decker Buses Full of Heavily-Armed American Tourists.
This time next year, Rodders....