SOMEBODY STOP THESE BASTARDS
I have control of the telephonic device.
"Hello, 3 Network. How can we help you?"
"Yes - can you tell your sales people to stop ringing my mobile twice a day? The phone rings and you always hang up before I get the chance to pick up."
"Ah-ha!" says the poor phone centre drone sensing early victory, "How do you know it's us?"
"Because your number's all over the internet, including a page called 'SOMEBODY STOP THESE BASTARDS'"
"Oh right. And why do you want us to stop? Do you actually know what these calls are about?"
I sigh. Now I am telling him his job.
"I'm on o2. You are not o2. You want me to buy a phone contract for your rubbish network."
"And do you want to buy a phone contract for our ...er... network?"
"I would much rather be violated by a Kenwood Chef. The one with the dough hook."
"Is that a 'yes', then?"