Tuesday, January 04, 2011



"Ere, look at this," says my erstwhile pal and avid reader of this once-funny blog, Spikes Walker.

The Swiss Toni lookalike hands me a flyer for a stage show, currently touring the South before its transfer to London's West End: Stop Dreamin' - Featuring the Music of Chas & Dave

I am intrigued.

"I am intrigued"

And also somewhat disturbed.

"I am intrigued and also somewhat disturbed"

Hot on the heels of musicals featuring the work of other fly-by-night artists - Queen, ABBA, Bigfoot and the Groincrushers - someone decided it was high time that the East End's most loveable Spurs-supporting geezers had their turn in the spotlight. Starring Minty out of EastEnders, Yvette from Allo Allo, and Mr Bannister from Are You Being Served. And a genuine Doctor Who assistant to boot.

"Hilarity ensues," I read from the flyer. I shall be the judge of that.

"Certain to have you dancing in the aisles." I shall also be the judge of that.

"I shall be the judge of that," I say out loud, in the presence of actual, breathing witnesses.

"But that means," Spikes Walker observes, "you actually having to buy a ticket, travel down to Guildford (Twin Town: Gomorrah) and go and watch the thing in all its Cock-er-nee dreadfulness. And then, if you have retained the will to live, drive home again."

Got me. I shall do none of these things.

He's pretty sharp (oh-ho!) is that Spikes.

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