Do you know what I'd like to see?
We ought to go Japanese and have vending machines on every street corner. When I was in Japan, I saw a machine that a) vended slightly naughty magazines and b) 56kg sacks of rice.
That, however, couldn't hold a candle to one that was just around the corner from our office, selling live fishing bait. Bring your own pot. I saw a man who didn't. Messy.
"But what," you ask, "Would your dream vending machine be?"
And it is this: A vending machine that dispenses other, slightly smaller, vending machines
But what would they vend? Other vending machines? That would be plain STUPID.
They would vend copies of the AMAZING new weekly magazine "Build Your Own Vending Machine".
Week by week, you can build your own fascinating vending machine that you can use to sell rubber johnnies, Class A drugs and dead rodents. Get your first freeze-dried rat and coin slot in issue one. Free binder, wrap of ground-up aspirin in issue two.
I am not mad.