Do you know what I'd like to see?We ought to go Japanese and have vending machines on every street corner. When I was in Japan, I saw a machine that a) vended slightly naughty magazines and b) 56kg sacks of rice.
That, however, couldn't hold a candle to one that was just around the corner from our office, selling live fishing bait. Bring your own pot. I saw a man who didn't. Messy.
"But what," you ask, "Would your dream vending machine be?"
And it is this: A vending machine that dispenses other, slightly smaller, vending machines
But what would they vend? Other vending machines? That would be plain STUPID.
They would vend copies of the AMAZING new weekly magazine "Build Your Own Vending Machine".
Week by week, you can build your own fascinating vending machine that you can use to sell rubber johnnies, Class A drugs and dead rodents. Get your first freeze-dried rat and coin slot in issue one. Free binder, wrap of ground-up aspirin in issue two.
I am not mad.
11 comments:
We could build one that dispenses hamburgers and chips.
We could call it Vendy's.
This time next year etc etc
You need to speak to the inventor of the Hamburger and Chip vending machine, Mr Rik Aitch of this parish (not a lie)
When traveling on a train that passes through Cambridge, I've always been tempted to get off & try the chip vending machine on Platform 1.
http://hotfreshfries.com/
I liked the vending machines in Japan which sold small bottles of sake...never be caught without a tipple to hand.
ruth
Hamburger and chip vending machine? You mean a McDonald's worker?
Ho, ho. Social satire there.
Freeze dried or no, those rats are NEVER fresh.
Do you want fries with that?
WoD
I've got two dead lorikeets, three frogmouths and half a dozen mice in my freezer at the moment, oh and 3 packs of 5x4 sheet film. Where's the vending machine for dead wildlife? I'm sure there's a biologist out there with a use for them.
Come to think of it, if our hens don't start laying again... no the freezer's too small.
Didn't the Japanese have one that vended the (apparently) used underwear of (apparently) schoolgirls? I rather think that if you've got a completely nutsack idea, them wily orientals have already got the patent.
Poo. For the posting thereof through letterboxes.
Lions. See above post.
Post a Comment