No.1: Air GuitarA very short list of things not to do in the driving seat of your car, especially when stuck in a traffic jam on the way to work in a large town in the south of England, your long-suffering lady wife in the passenger seat, a perfect blend of yummy mummy and old-fashioned English embarrassment.
1. Enthusiastically play the air guitar for several minutes whilst waiting for the traffic lights to go green, complete with meticulously fingered air-chords and the ritual banging of the head, while your long-suffering lady wife in the passenger seat, a perfect blend of yummy mummy and old-fashioned English embarrassment looks anywhere - anywhere - but at the scene of the crime
For other drivers will notice. And they will point. They will laugh. They will care not one jot for your attempts at increasing the sum total of human happiness. And you will have that dreadful moment of self-awareness when you suddenly realise what your long-suffering lady wife in the passenger seat, a perfect blend of yummy mummy and old-fashioned English embarrassment is already thinking:
"He's a dick. I've married a dick."
Don't do it.
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