No.1: Air GuitarA very short list of things not to do in the driving seat of your car, especially when stuck in a traffic jam on the way to work in a large town in the south of England, your long-suffering lady wife in the passenger seat, a perfect blend of yummy mummy and old-fashioned English embarrassment.
1. Enthusiastically play the air guitar for several minutes whilst waiting for the traffic lights to go green, complete with meticulously fingered air-chords and the ritual banging of the head, while your long-suffering lady wife in the passenger seat, a perfect blend of yummy mummy and old-fashioned English embarrassment looks anywhere - anywhere - but at the scene of the crime
For other drivers will notice. And they will point. They will laugh. They will care not one jot for your attempts at increasing the sum total of human happiness. And you will have that dreadful moment of self-awareness when you suddenly realise what your long-suffering lady wife in the passenger seat, a perfect blend of yummy mummy and old-fashioned English embarrassment is already thinking:
"He's a dick. I've married a dick."
Don't do it.
11 comments:
Just for clarification, don't do what: car guitar or marry a dick?
I'll Stick with picking my nose.
I'm pretty sure your wife already knew, Scary. :)
Amanda: could you not have phrased that better?
Are you in the running for world's stickiest bogey?
Toxteth O'Grady has a rival!
What do you call a woman without a dick? Single.
Also, slight mistyping.
"He's a duck. I've married a duck."
There. Fixed.
You don't need a longer list in order to--
dead.
Either from traffic or yummy mummy.
I play the air drums. Is that as bad?
Including while driving on the motorway ...
I'd look less of a fool if the radio would stop playing Prince Buster tracks all the time...
She obviously loves you, I'm just surprised she still lets you drive when going out together.
"He's a dUck. I've married a dUck.", surely?
That's Richard to you, The Mrs. TFMD.
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